Oh Google...

     This is kind of a short, random, slightly amusing post. I don't really have anything to say, but I was looking at the search phrases that have brought people to my little blog, and I found some of them rather funny. Some of them actually make sense, like "art at Gordon College" or names of people I've quoted like "Jann Semkow" or "Margo Buccini." Others, however, make little to no sense at all. Let's see what we've got.

* "I guess today" -- You guess today... what? Who searches for a phrase like that, and just how many million hits did they get on the search engine?

* "that I have my shopping cart" -- Um... complete phrase anyone? And why are you looking for info on who has a shopping cart?

* "and stone chips in" -- This person is apparently also a fan of fragments that make no sense. Now I'm wondering where I was talking about stone chips...

* "Berry College and Dada and Neo-Classicism and drawing and..." -- Ok, I admit... this one was me. I wanted to see how many random art-related phrases I had to type into Google before I could get my blog to come up. Here's a hint... it's a lot.

* "What do I do when black stuff is on my shell collection" -- Seriously? Wtf? How did this pull up my blog? Where was I talking about black stuff on shells? Did I drunk post again? Jeez. And how should I know what to do when you have black stuff on your shell collection? If it was me, I'd assume my shells had caught the black plague, don a Hazmat suit, and carry them out to the dump to bury them six feet under the ground in a pretty (yet safe) little shell collection funeral.

Uninspiring Inspiration

     Well, I feel compelled to write something here tonight, but I have no idea what to write. You could say that I'm bored out of my mind and trying to motivate myself to actually work on something. I thought about telling the world a little more about myself, but it seems a little self-centered and boring. I'm really not all that interesting to talk about, even if I try to act like I am. Anyway, I suppose I should talk about something art related. Let's see where this takes us.

     Occasionally someone feels the need to ask me deep, artistic questions, and most of the time I don't have any good answers for them. I think for some reason, people always assume that all artists have these deep, expressive, passionate, creative souls that defy logic and order. I really wonder what a scientific genius like Leonardo da Vinci would think of the modern view of the artist. For instance, my mother can't stand that I like symmetry and balance. When we have to work together on decorating or setting up a display, she'll often say something to the effect of "You're an artist! You're supposed to be creative with it, not have it all spaced out evenly! Put down the ruler!" Really? When did that happen? Apparently people who are obsessive-compulsive can never be artists. It's a good thing no artist ever relies on ratios or perspective or rulers. Other people will stand in front of one of my pieces and ask things like "What does it symbolize?" or "What does it mean?" or "What inspired this?" That's typically when I blink slowly at them, point to the piece, and go, "It's a face. It was pretty... so I drew it." Ok, so maybe not all of my pieces are that simple. But seriously. Why does everything have to mean something? I get that some people create really abstract, symbolic, or meaningful work, and that's awesome. If that's what they want to do, cool with me. But why do all artists have to be lumped into that group? This part of my rant is starting to sound like my previous post on art. I'll stop sounding like a broken record now.

     What was I talking about? Oh yeah. Deep, artistic questions. Ok, so I can't really answer questions about meaning and parts of my soul being in the work and all that jazz, but I can answer questions about inspiration... sometimes. Sometimes it really is just as simple as "I really liked that person's face, so I drew her," or "I saw these really cool beads, so I brought them home and just put them with a bunch of other beads that matched." Other times, it's slightly more complex, though often not much more. Sometimes, I'll see another work of art that inspires me, so I'll take an element of that work, whether it's the style, mood, technique, or materials, and I'll try to incorporate it into my own piece. For instance, I really liked all of the elegant but unrealistic swirling lines in Linda Bergkvist's piece entitled "Kareena" so I tried to incorporate a small piece of that in the hair of the vampire in "Blood Moon" (forgive the glare at the top of the photo; the original drawing is in a frame).

     Continuing with this piece as an example, other times I simply take inspiration from the things I like. I love vampire mythology and novels (no, not Twilight... sorry to all you sparkly vampire fans, but I stick with Anne Rice... just don't mention the movie version of Queen of the Damned... that might actually be worse than Twilight). I also love Amy Lee, the lead singer for Evanescence (ok, maybe I don't love her personally since we've never met, but I love her voice anyhow). So for this piece, I took some basics from Amy Lee's appearance, added in features of my own appearance since I had to use myself as a model for the shading, and turned the resulting creation into a vampire. I also happen to like the full moon and cherry blossoms. Ta da! You have the whole picture. Combine Linda Bergkvist, Amy Lee, vampires, cherry blossoms, a full moon, and a little touch of yours truly and you get one of my pieces. No deep, meaningful experience abstracted on paper, just a logical stream of thoughts and preferences. Uninspiring inspiration. Gotta love it. Anyway, that's enough about inspiration for one night. Maybe I'll elaborate on it more or cover it from a jewelry standpoint later on, but for now my fingers are tired and I need to find something less exhausting to keep me entertained.

Happy Rut Day!

"People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing -- that's why we recommend it daily." ~ Zig Ziglar

     So I'm pretty much in another rut. I have fragments of ideas but no motivation to turn them into complete realities. I think maybe I'm just a little burned out from my job and the holidays and some personal issues. I get burned out pretty easily. I finished my commissioned project (hopefully I won't break it again) and made a few beads, but aside from that, I haven't created anything. So, instead of providing interesting details about some amazing thing I'm creating, I'm just going to put up a pretty picture I made several months ago so you don't lose interest in me while I'm rolling around in my rut. This piece is called "Siren's Gaze" and was made for my "Visionary" collection at Berry College, same collection that this piece came from. Thanks to my lovely friend Miranda for modeling for me.

A Weekend of Ow...

"Oh Lord, you give us everything at the price of fatigue!" ~ Leonardo da Vinci

     Ok so... long week... longer weekend. I'm exhausted and still have more stuff to do. In two days I've driven over 300 miles by myself. I feel like someone took a sledgehammer to my body when I wasn't looking. Just now got home from Berry College. My roommate from last year graduated today, and I'm so proud of her. Just wish Berry wasn't so far away. So I made the three hour drive up there, did the graduation thing, and made the three hour drive back home. And can I just say that tights are manufactured in hell? I mean, jeez. Those things are evil. Always falling down or rolling up or getting those stupid lines in them. Evil evil evil. Ok. Yeah.

     So anyway... Spent a hundred dollars at Hobby Lobby yesterday buying graduation presents and birthday presents and Christmas presents... not to mention supplies for my jewelry. Found some really cool pieces for steampunk jewelry so I can expand on my "Pistols and Pearls" collection. Keys, locks, gears, etc. We'll see how that goes.

     Been doing some clay stuff in what little spare time I've had. Finished round two of a commissioned piece which I accidentally broke immediately after completing it a week ago. That's kind of how my life goes. Also carried out my first experiment with the flower inclusions. I'm pleased with the texture but not so much with the color. Continuing my experiments now. I'll try to post pictures sometime soon.

     And for those of you waiting to see new portraits, I'm sorry to say that I can't complete anything until I get some new drawing supplies for Christmas. Hopefully I'll get something churned out before 2011.

     That's all for now. Congrats to Jess and Emma for graduating, glad I got to see you for five minutes Amanda, had fun eating lunch with the lovely Smith sisters, sorry I missed you Fakhria, and love to all you random people reading this. I'm going to go crash into the couch now.

Other Jewelry Artists

"No, not competition, community." ~ Jan Blencowe

     Today I thought I'd take the time to put up some of the work from my fellow jewelry artists so that I can both provide you with eye candy and show you a little more of the world of the handmade jewelry business. I don't know any of these artists personally, but I admire their work and their professionalism.

Flower Skull Earrings: $25.00

Marie Segal

Ava: $129.00

AncaNY

Copper and Cherry Pearl Necklace: $71.00

Kiwi Jewels

Green and Blue Earrings: $30.00

Klew's Expressions

Sapphire Pearl Lampwork Pendant Necklace: $42

Earth & Sky Studio

     Hope none of them minded a little free advertisement. Anywho, I tried to pick pieces that use techniques and materials similar to my own work, so I hope those of you who are fans of my work will like this stuff as well. I don't know if this was at all useful in shedding light on the market I'm "competing" in, but hopefully it was. Maybe I'll do a similar post in the future.

Polymer Clay: Flower Inclusions

     So it looks like I'm getting a second chance to add a little nature to my clay work. Since my mother has been receiving flowers ever since her knee surgery and the first bouquet is finally starting to die off, I've been collecting the dried flowers for another attempt at making beads with flower inclusions. Learning from my last disaster, I won't be creating more tupperware of death. I'm leaving the flowers out to dry in the open air, the slow way. I might try to put some petals in the microwave, just because I'm impatient. We'll see. Anyway, for those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about when I say "flower inclusions" I decided to put up some pictures of successful inclusions from artist Marie Segal. All of the following photos are her work.

Larkspur

Amaranth

Chili Peppers

Lemon Verbena

     So basically, you take crushed flowers and mix it up with translucent clay to create unique beads. Ta da! Hopefully I'll be making pretty stuff soon. So far I have yellow roses and red carnations. We'll see how it goes.

Appreciation and Frustration

     So, after a long week I have returned to write. I guess I should start this post on a high note before I descend into the depths of despair. I wanted to say that I really appreciate those of you who are following my blog, as well as those who have commented on my posts. It's nice to know that people are interested in my career and I'm not just writing to the empty void, and I've received some very good advice here as well. As far as the comments on my little pricing rant go, I mostly agree and I appreciate the advice. Now here's where we start our descent.

     Profit is great. I'd love to take the advice I've gotten and factor it in when calculating my prices so I can sell my work for a logical amount. Unfortunately, the reality is that I can't even sell anything at the prices I have now. My website has been up since July and I haven't sold a single piece online. Not one. And I don't do much better offline either. Let me share part of my records. Since January, I've sold 43 pieces for a total of $640. My expenses so far have been over $1500, and I currently have 100 pieces of jewelry lying around which, priced as they are, amount to $3233 dollars.

     I know that getting a business off the ground and running in this economy takes time. Or at least the logical part of me knows that. The other part of me is getting bitter and discouraged and frustrated beyond belief. I'm getting tired of working for nothing. I recently finished this beautiful triple-strand necklace that took me several hours and is made of real garnet, peridot, and freshwater pearls. In my mind it's worth $100 at the very least, but I know that I won't even be able to sell it if I price it at $80. I can't even sell my $25 necklaces or my $7 earrings. People love to look at my stuff and tell me how pretty it is and congratulate me on all of my hard work, but no one buys. Maybe it's because there are several racks of $3 necklaces in town. Maybe they don't have the money. Maybe they're just flattering me and my work isn't really all that great. I don't know. I'm not a business-savvy person, so I don't really know what to do. Lately I've been working on exposure and building up my web traffic, but despite the boom in visitors, I'm still not selling anything. I just made some brochures for jewelry parties in hopes that having a group of women shopping at a party in a friend's home will boost my sales, but honestly, I don't know how well that's going to work out either. So until I get some customers who are actually willing to buy my work at their current cheap, illogical prices, I feel like raising my prices would only hurt me more. Most people already tell me I'm too expensive, so I'm kind of caught between a rock and a hard place here.

     So there's my tale of woe. No pretty pictures, inspirational ideas, or good news. Sorry to bring a little doom and gloom to the world.

For Your Viewing Pleasure

Finally got all of my photos from the festivals loaded onto my computer. Enjoy.

Hatch Market 2010, part of Doctober Days in Griffin, GA

And then Berry College Arts and Crafts Festival in Rome, GA on a really really really cold day! Had to take down the tent halfway through the day to get some sun, and Jess and I clung to each other on several occasions to keep warm.

Anywho, that's all for now. Happy Thanksgiving to my fellow Americans, and Happy Non-Holiday to those of you who live elsewhere. Have some turkey and pretend.

Gemstones Galore

     No wonderful quote this time. Also no giant rant. You can exhale now. Haven't posted for a bit, so I just figured I'd give you all an update.

     I recently received an order of gemstone materials, so I'm really excited to be working with such beautiful, high-quality items. I bought carnelian, sponge coral, yellow jade, new jade, peridot, garnet, freshwater pearls, opalite, and white quartz, so I've got plenty to keep me inspired. Unfortunately, I haven't had much time to work lately because I just started a new job and my mother has been having a rough time since her knee surgery last week, so I've been less focused on my artwork than I would like to be. Still, I'm working on a new collection called "Gardens of Stone" that will feature a bunch of floral gemstone jewelry so keep an eye out for that to pop up on the site in the near future.

     Still working on some commissioned stuff, including a polymer clay elephant tusk (long story) and three portraits (about to add a fourth one onto that). After making all the preparations to start drawing the actual portraits (enhancing photos, gridding, taking out my drawing pad, etc) I realized that I have somehow lost all of my drawing materials. So far I've managed to find only one of my woodless graphite pencils, and it doesn't really help me much since it's the 2B and most of the work is done with the 4B and 6B pencils. Bah humbug. Thank God I don't have a deadline, or I'd be sunk. I'll be cleaning my room out since we have company visiting this weekend, so hopefully my stuff will turn up under some pile of jewelry magazines or clothing. If not, I'll have to go out and buy some more supplies. Yippee. More money spending.

     Anyway, aside from that there isn't much to report. I don't think I'll be able to get myself into any craft festivals before the holidays, which is extremely disappointing since I imagine this is the best time to be selling. I haven't sold anything since November 6th, so I'm getting pretty discouraged at the moment. I am, however, making up some brochures for jewelry parties. I think that might be a fun, profitable way for me to get my name out there and acquire some clients. So, if anyone in my neck of the woods (no more than a 75 mile drive from Pike County, Georgia) is interested in hosting a party where I bring my jewelry to your house so you and your friends can shop in comfort, let me know. Hosting a party gets you a discount. Woot.

     That's all for now, folks. I'll try to add pretty pictures next time I post. In the meantime, send positive, creative energy my way... and if you really love me, throw in a little cyber traffic. I need a little holiday cheer, preferably the green kind. Don't make me dress like Tiny Tim for sympathy. I'll do it.

The Expected Pricing Rant

"If the artist doesn't value his or her own work, it's a certainty no one else will." ~ Janet Toney

     I warned you it was coming, and here it is. The dreaded pricing rant. Hopefully this post will be appreciated by both my fellow artists and my potential customers. Even if it isn't appreciated, it's something worth thinking about and understanding.

     While there are some people who are completely understanding of the pricing of my jewelry and view it as entirely reasonable, there are several others who insist on telling me that my jewelry is too expensive and even a few who think that I'm underselling myself. I'm getting pretty tired of it, but I imagine it's a problem I'm just going to have to get used to. Nevertheless, I figure it can't hurt to explain things to the few people who read this blog, and hopefully the number of complainers will go down a little.

     It seems to me that there are two ways of pricing things (other than asking your friends to randomly pick a number). These two methods are rather simple to understand at the core, though of course when you add on trying to keep your prices competitive in any given market it's tricky and a whole other story. Anyway, the first method is determined by how much money it would take to get you to part with something. This typically applies to people who make art as a hobby. Since they create a work of art for fun or self-expression, when selling said piece these people typically price their work based on sentimental value and maybe the cost of materials so they can go on to create something else. Note that these people are usually too young to care about making a living, have a separate and stable job, or starve to death. The second pricing method is one that should be familiar to everyone who has ever had a job. It doesn't typically rely on the sentimental value of the item being priced, but rather the time spent and the cost of the materials that went into the item.  That second one is me. That's how I price my work. Now let me explain.

     When I finish a piece of jewelry and open up my little spreadsheet to add a price to my records, time and materials are pretty much the only factors I'm considering. I try to pay myself $10 an hour. That's reasonable right? I mean, I personally think all the work I put into that hour is worth more than $10, but I'm fresh out of college and can't be picky. Anyway, I estimate how much time I put into the piece, and I get a starting number for that. Then I look at the materials that went into it. Most of my materials are fairly inexpensive, but if a necklace is made of real turquoise, that's going to cost more than a necklace that's made of glass. So the material factor for glass, clay, or acrylic beads is going to be relatively small while the material factor for stones, pearls, and metals will be a little higher. Once I've got the number for the time spent and the number for the cost of materials, I add those together and BOOM! you have a price tag! Simple, right?

Here's an example for you. Let's look at "Waikiki Star" since I can tell you quite a bit about those materials. For those of you who like pretty pictures, here you go:

     Ok, so there it is. Let's talk about materials first. See those shiny bluish-black beads? Those are freshwater pearls. More expensive than your average bead. And that pendant there? The center of it is paua shell which is also a little pricier than other materials like glass or wood. I picked up both the pearls and the paua shell while I was staying at Waikiki, so they were a little cheaper than they otherwise might have been back here in rural Georgia. The rest of the beads are glass and some unremarkable metal, so altogether, let's say that the price of the materials was about $10. Easy enough. Now take a closer look at the pendant. I already told you that the center is paua shell, but see that black stuff around the shell diamond? That's polymer clay. Nifty stuff. The paua shell was a really thin slice (another piece I bought actually broke before I could put it on any jewelry), so I backed it with polymer clay to make it sturdier and more substantial. That little black piece of polymer clay took me a little over an hour to condition, roll out, cut to the exact dimensions needed, shape to fit the back of the paua shell, smooth, and bake in the oven. After that I had to take a little more time to glaze the clay to give it that pretty, glossy shine, and then I had to glue on the paua shell in the center using a special adhesive designed for polymer clay. So let's say almost two hours for the pendant alone. For those of you counting, $10 for supplies and $20 for two hours working on the pendant gives us $30 so far. Now for the actual necklace. If I'm lucky, planning out the necklace takes me about half an hour. Stringing is typically quick enough if there's only one strand like in this necklace, so that only took me another half an hour, maybe a little more. So with that hour of work, we tack another $10 to our price, and we finally have a $40 necklace. Ta da!

     So, for those of you who think $40 is too much to pay for a necklace, I would agree with you if it was some mass-produced string of beads cranked out by a machine in China within ten minutes. However, if a necklace is one-of-a-kind and crafted by hand out of quality materials over the course of three hours, $40 is a VERY reasonable price to pay.

      And for those of you who think I'm underselling myself because of the fact that my work IS one-of-a-kind art and I'm worth more than $10 an hour, God bless you, but I don't know many rich people and I need stuff to sell. Still, it makes me feel good to know that some people out there value my time and effort as much as I do. Thanks, guys.

     This concludes the pricing rant. Thank you and good night.

An Update for the Daily Prophet

     Now that Hatch Market and Berry's Arts and Crafts Festival are over, I'm focusing on updating the site a bit. I know that many people seemed interested in purchasing my creations online in time for the holidays, so I'm working hard to get the majority of my stock online and shopping cart ready. The hardest part of getting pieces ready for online purchase lies in naming them. It takes a long time for me to find names suitable for both the individual pieces and the collections they belong to, so I'm rather proud to reveal that the name of my latest collection is Diagon Alley. Yes, the jewelry in this particular collection will be named after places, people, and objects from J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter novels. Since Rowling's work has been an incredibly strong influence in nearly every aspect of my life, I think it's only fitting to name some of my work in honor of her brilliant creations.

     So, that's really all for now. Working on a commissioned project, updating the site, and looking for more festivals to participate in before Christmas. If anyone has suggestions for events I could be a part of, please e-mail me and let me know.

Small Success

"If you wish to succeed in life, make perseverance your bosom friend, experience your wise counselor, caution your elder brother, and hope your guardian genius." ~ Joseph Addison

     For those of you who haven't heard, Hatch Market wasn't a complete success, but it wasn't a total failure either. I only managed to sell a few pieces, but that's better than selling none at all. At least I made enough to cover the cost of the booth. Even if I didn't make much money, I did get my name out there a little, and I picked up two random job offers as well, so we'll see how things go. Thanks to everyone who came out to see me. I got to see some old friends, and I really enjoyed talking to everyone who came to my booth (except a couple of sourpusses who were not so subtle in their disapproval of my prices). I was given some very helpful tips and learned a lot about what customers like most. I was really surprised that the few men's pieces I had seemed to attract a lot of attention. Who knew? 

     So after the stress of Hatch Market, I spent several days burying myself in the post-apocalyptic world of Fallout: New Vegas. Good game, though it seems a little more vulgar than Fallout 3. I guess it's just because it's in Vegas. I don't really mind it, but every now and then they shock me and it takes me a minute to go, "Wow... they actually said that." Anyway, it's been a good way to take my mind off of work and the disappointment of not making a good profit. 

     Right now I'm trying to focus on Halloween, and after that I'll be working on Berry College's Arts and Crafts Festival. Today I went to seven different stores so I could get the finishing touches for my Halloween costume. I'm doing this whole Victorianesque vampire thing, so I have a top hat that I'm decking out in burgundy roses and tulle, then I have a burgundy velvet and black lace coat that has black ribbon corset lacing in the back. Yay for pretty things. I also picked up some high-end vampire fangs, and I have to figure out how to fit them to my teeth tomorrow. Fun. So tomorrow night, I'll be going to a party in Atlanta with two of my friends. Hopefully we'll have a good time.

     Anyway, that's all for now. I'm sure you can expect a long rant about jewelry prices sometime in the near future, but luckily for you, I'm too tired to rant right now. Peace.

Cruel Cruel Fate

"The happy accident comes about once a year. The rest are unhappy accidents." ~ Alexander Creswell

     Crunch time preparing for Hatch Market and guess who throws her back out? My timing is impeccable. So now I'm lying flat on my back on the floor instead of working. Luckily for me, my parents have been doing a tremendous amount of work for me, and they spent yesterday and today helping me build three display boards for all of my jewelry. My mother also went out and bought Halloween decorations for my tent, so I'm going to have a pretty awesome display tomorrow. Hopefully between an adjustment at the chiropractor, a bottle of Aleve, and a backbrace, I'll make it through tomorrow's set up and the long day at the market. I just hope it's all worth it and we get a decent crowd. Again, I'll be out there on Solomon Street from noon to seven. Come by and check out all the artists and crafters.

Coming Soon to a Website Near You!

     Photographed 48 pieces of jewelry yesterday thanks to my wonderful photographer (aka dad). Gotta love having talented family members. Keep an eye out for a lot of new additions to the jewelry section of Anorel Arts in the next few days. While I'm sorting, editing, naming, and coding, here's a few tidbits to hold you over:

Slow and Steady

"It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop." ~ Confucius

     Typing that gave me the sudden craving for Chinese food. Hrm. Oh well. Anyway, I've been feeling rather sluggish lately, hence the lack of posts. I sleep far more than I should and still feel tired. Guess I need to start eating more often and get my metabolism to wake up and get going. Still, I've been pushing myself to work every day, mostly in the middle of the night when everyone else is sleeping. I currently have 90 pieces of jewelry in stock, and I have several other things in the works, so I should be well stocked for the upcoming art festivals. Today I purchased some necklace displays, though I couldn't really afford to buy more than fifteen of them so I have to make some different displays myself. I already own a t-bar display stand for bracelets, so now I just need to rig a few multi-purpose display stands for the earrings and the remainder of the necklaces. Again, please come out to Solomon Street in Griffin, GA on October 23 and help support the artists and crafters of Hatch Market. As part of Doctober Days, there will be plenty of vendors and entertainment in Griffin that weekend, so there's bound to be something for everyone to enjoy.

     Ok, so here's my disappointing story of the week. I brought back a wristlet of orchids from Hawaii, intending to dry them, crush them, and mix them with translucent clay to create beads that would not only hold the color of the orchids but would also have an interesting texture. So, I put my orchids in a tupperware container when I got back from Hawaii and poured in some silica gel crystals to absorb the moisture. Now, I got this advice from several columns on the internet, but apparently I didn't add enough silica gel. The internet said to leave the flowers in the container for a week or so, and so I did. Yesterday I finally opened the container to find a gooey, stinking mess of decaying flowers covered in stringy white mold. Yay me. And I'm allergic to mold. Extra yay for that. So I quickly shut the container and ran. Now I have the tupperware of death sitting on my desk. Guess I'll have to deal with that... Maybe I'll just toss the whole thing out. I don't really feel like bleaching out some plastic container so it won't make my skin get all red and puffy. But anyway, I'm disappointed. I was looking forward to experimenting with those pretty orchids. So, no orchid beads will be appearing in my work any time in the near future. Sadness.

     Anyway, running low on beads and clay, but I'm trying desperately not to spend anymore money on this business until I actually make some money back. If I sell half of the jewelry I have in stock right now, I'll almost have enough money to cover my expenses. It's a little disheartening. I really really need to get art prints made. I get the feeling that's where I'd make the most money, aside from commissioned portraits at least. Still, I could be entirely wrong about that, and with my parents constantly and not-so-subtly hinting that I'm going to crash and burn if I try to make a living off my little art business, I'm starting to get rather negative and upset with the whole thing. I've been keeping an eye out for a side job ever since I graduated from college, but it's difficult to find jobs in a field I'm qualified for, especially jobs in the area where I live. As I've said before, rural Georgia doesn't have many opportunities for people with art degrees. Anyway, I guess I'll just have to do the best I can and see what happens with these two craft festivals coming up. Still keeping an eye out for more fairs that don't cost an arm and a leg to get into, so if anyone knows of any upcoming events where vendors are needed, please let me know at anorelarts@gmail.com.

Fleeting Motivation

"Cutting out the clutter in your mind is as simple as letting it out, and that means expressing some pretty useless ideas." ~ Jean-Pierre Beeks

     Immediately after I ranted about being stuck in a rut, unable to make anything worthwhile, I made two necklaces. Go figure. Life likes to turn me into a liar. Oh well, at least I got something done. I've been a bit more inspired/motivated since then, so I've been updating my records, getting ready to start work on three portraits, and doing some research for my Down the Rabbit Hole collection. I've also started to add descriptions to the jewelry pages on my website. It's a slow-going process, but I'm working on it.

     It's October! And I still have no plans for Halloween! I'm starting to freak out a little here. I have no costume, no party, no one to hang out with, nothing. I can't do nothing for Halloween. It's like... blasphemy or heresy or something. Help me! I need someone to point me toward some non-scary but incredibly awesome thing to do for Halloween!

     Bah. In other news, I'll be going to the Cotton Pickin' Fair in Gay tomorrow. All you Georgia people, go there! Support the arts! And the crafts! I won't be selling anything there, but maybe I'll find some good buys. I just have to make sure I don't spend too much. I have no money coming in at the moment, so I can't really be spending much. Oh the joys of money. Someone needs to buy stuff from me. Now.

The Rut

"zeal, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth before a sprawl." ~ Ambrose Bierce

     I'm stuck. In a rut. Every time I bead something, it sucks. Really sucks. I take it apart. I try something else. That sucks worse. I take that apart. I enter into a staring contest with a pile of beads. The beads win. Out of spite I try to string them one more time. It still sucks. I unstring the beads and hide them so they can't stare at me. Evil evil beads. They're always sitting there, daring me to do something with them because they know I can't. Jerks.

     So yeah. I have no new jewelry. A few new clay pieces, because the clay bends to my will (hah hah) better than the beads do at the moment. But since I'm not succeeding in beading (hey, that rhymes!), the clay pieces are just clay pieces, sitting there uselessly next to the ever defiant beads.

     Anyway, even though I have no new jewelry, I have added more of my pieces to the website. There's now a miscellaneous category for the pieces that don't belong to any particular collection. They don't have buttons for the shopping cart yet, but they will soon enough.

     In other news, the ball I went to on Saturday was enjoyable. Cue horrible photo that my mother took without her glasses on.

     I'm rather fond of that dress. Took forever to find royal blue shoes to match it though. Seems like everyone is intent on wearing 5" heels. Cue slightly less horrible photos that I took on my webcam.

     There you have it, folks. Kaitlin Brown, all gussied up. You may never see it again in this lifetime. Savor the moment.

Broadening My Horizons

"If Botticelli were alive today he'd be working for Vogue." ~ Peter Ustinov

     So I'm trying something new today. With Halloween (the most amazing day of the year) around the corner, I've been looking all over for a good, safe party to go to. If I could, I'd be going to the Atlanta Halloween Ball at the Fox Theatre, but unfortunately, there's no way in hell anyone I know would accompany me at $125 a ticket. But even though I can't go to a fancy masquerade, I've decided to try and make some masks for those who can. I seem to enjoy combining fashion and art. I guess art just seems so much more relevant when you can get some actual use out of it. So today I went to Hobby Lobby and bought a blank mask along with some wire mesh for molding, and now I'm working on my first polyclay mask. It's a definite work in progress/experiment but so far it's working out relatively well. Here's a sneak preview:

     I don't know how this is going to turn out, but here's what I've done so far:

1. I took my mesh wire and pressed it over the blank mask I bought to create a base to model the clay on. 

2. I covered the wire mesh with a thin layer of a base color of clay (in this case, a mixture of pearl, translucent, and white clays) in the approximate shape of a half mask. 

3. I cut slices from an old cane (a multicolored and white lace cane) and began placing and pressing them into the base clay. I cut smaller shapes from the slices to fill in the gaps between the circles. 

     So that's what I have so far. I plan to use another color of clay for the sides, and maybe another color for a border around the edges. That's it for now. Now it's time for TV. All my shows are coming back from their summer break. Happiness. If only my father would let mom and I watch Grey's Anatomy tonight. I'm craving drama.

Trying to Come Back

     So, I'm alive and well, just so you all know. Got back from Hawaii on Thursday morning, and I've been trying to get back into the swing of things ever since. I had an absolutely awesome time at the Hilton Hawaiian Village. Not many people there my age, but spent a lot of time hanging out with all of the birds there. For those of you who don't know, I'm a bit of an animal nut, and for some reason, they seem to like me in return. So basically I spent a large part of my vacation petting black-footed penguins, staring down flamingos, laughing at a bunch of little birds that landed on the table behind me to eat someone's leftover sandwich, talking to a white-crested laughing thrush, and trying to get the attention of a rather arrogant black-necked swan. Got to play with a couple of turtles too. But aside from the animals, I had a bunch of tasty tropical drinks at the various bars on the resort, went shopping with my mother and bought two lovely dresses, floated in the Pacific in an inner tube, walked on the empty beach under the moonlight, and attended several NATCA parties. I also managed to pick up some strands of freshwater pearls and shells to use in my jewelry. You can expect to see those in my upcoming pieces.

     While the vacation itself was fantastic, the process of traveling to and from Hawaii is NOT fun. AT ALL. I hate hate hate hate hate those stupid planes. Haaaaate. They try to cram as many people as they possibly can in there. An eight or nine hour flight jammed into a space so small you can barely move just sucks. Majorly sucks. I mean, flying coach is nothing new for me, but I've never been so packed into a plane before. I couldn't lean back or to the sides to sleep; I had to put my tray down and sleep on that instead. And on the way home, that didn't even work because the old jerk in front of me kept moving in his seat and putting it back, which caused it to slam down on my head multiple times. So, to the jerk in row 29, next time you're on a flight, try to remember you're not the only person on the plane. And tell that to your wife too. She was just as bad as you were. Jeez.

     Ok. Rant over. Anyway, now that I'm back, I have plenty to work on and get ready for. This Saturday I'll be attending a formal "ball" which really probably won't be all that formal and ballish since it's in redneck central. Apparently they even have a "gentlemen's parlor" where men can watch the football game. At the ball. Seriously? Bleh. So I bought a nice dress in Hawaii, only it's blue, green, and brown, so finding shoes to match is proving difficult. Mom and I are going out shopping tomorrow. Wish me luck. As I recently tried to explain to my friend, shopping with my mom is like climbing Everest. Of course, he had to go and tear that comparison to shreds because he's all logical and too well-informed for the good of everyone he talks to, but essentially, shopping with my mom can be exhausting, frustrating, uncomfortable, and sometimes life-threatening. She's like... a marathon shopper. She could stay out for twelve hours straight just shopping. Now I, on the other hand, can survive about two stores before I get physically and mentally exhausted. So tomorrow will be interesting.

     Aside from the ball, I'll be getting ready for Hatch Market, which (as I've said before) will take place on October 23. Then I'll be selling my wares at the Berry College Arts and Crafts Festival on November 6. Throw in a couple of family birthdays in October, and my life might get a little busy here. I also still have to get prints made and get the rest of my stuff up and running on the site. I hope you guys are helping me advertise, because I definitely need the business. I have absolutely no money coming in at the moment, and my bank account is starting to sink.

     So, to sum up, Hawaii was good, plane was bad, I'm busy getting ready for stuff, and I need business. Ta da. Now you're all caught up. I know you're thrilled. Maybe next time I'll have pretty pictures for you to look at.

Tired Nonsense Post

"Life is one long process of getting tired." ~ Samuel Butler

     So... after getting a little over four hours of sleep I got up and took my dog to the vet... and of course she had to go all psychotic on me... shaking and jumping and crying and trying to drag me out the door with her leash... I'm tired. I don't really know why I'm posting right now. But I thought I'd at least attempt to be productive. Anyway... here's a preview of posts I plan to do sometime in the near future:

* A lovely comic about the evils of the jewelry supply aisle
* An explanation of caning and pictures of the process
* A rant about my senior project from college
* An exploration of different ideas for my claywork
* A look at what inspires me and how I create
* A few paragraphs about artists I admire

     Maybe by putting this in writing I'll actually accomplish some of those things. We'll see. At any rate, I'm leaving for a vacation on Friday morning, so I doubt I'll be able to do more than two of these posts within the next week. But maybe I'll come back from Hawaii with more energy, a fresh perspective, and plenty of inspiration. Unlikely, but I like to try and be optimistic every now and then. Now, off to nap.

Oh, Technology, How I Love Thee!

"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." ~ Arthur C. Clarke

     So today I realized that the computer does math better than I do. Who knew? But yeah, one of my friends told me about Open Office, and now I have a wonderful spreadsheet program for my inventory and expenses, which is oh-so-surprisingly much more effective than using TextEdit. Go figure. Anyway, I've discovered that I currently have 76 pieces in stock. Thought I had more than that, but I suppose it's not bad. I've already sold 28 pieces, which means that I've made 104 pieces (yay, addition!) so far this year. Considering the fact that I was dealing with my last semester of college for four of those seven months, I guess that's not too shabby. Still a long way to go before I can feel confident in my ability to use my art as a full-time career. Now that I have my shopping cart online, I need to photograph my artwork, get prints made, put all of my artwork on my site, photograph the rest of my jewelry, and get all of that up online as well. And don't forget Hatch Market in October. Need to make sure I have plenty in stock as well as displays to set up. So much to do, so little time. Ah well. That's life. Anyway, that's all I have to report today. Nothing new. So sorry.

Victory!

"Success is a great healer." ~ Grace Atherton

     The shopping cart is online! Woohoo! Been having a very rough time in my personal life, so this makes me feel ten times better. I don't know how it's going to work out on my end, but I've tested it from a customer's viewpoint and everything seems to be going smoothly. Let's just hope that this all works out. Crossing my fingers.

     Aside from the success on the site, everything else I touch falls to pieces lately. Spent an hour making a cheap steampunkish bracelet, but once I had it finished and tried it on, it didn't lay right at all on my wrist. Failure. So I took it apart. Oh well. I also tried to make some polyclay beads using this wonderful tutorial over at Desiree's Desired Creations. The beads on that site are gorgeous... and mine turned out horrible. Failure. Still trying to figure out how to salvage that one after several hours following all those steps. I'm kind of surprised since I've followed several other tutorials there without any problems. I think I just screwed it up. Bah humbug.

     But... I have a shopping cart! Woohoo! Yeah, ok. I'm done now. Check in again soon.

Sweet Suffering

"When the Japanese mend broken objects they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold, because they believe that when something's suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful." ~ Barbara Bloom

     Well, for those uninterested in my personal life, allow me to start with the art news. Trying to get started on some men's jewelry, so yesterday I made an interesting necklace. I like it, but I don't know if anyone else will. I used a shark's tooth I bought in Brevard, some round leopard skin jasper beads, and stone chips in a dark reddish brown. Don't know what the off-white beads are made of. Cue crappy webcam shot.

     So yeah, there it is. Can't see anything in that picture, but oh well. Anyway, I have two more shark teeth and two arrowheads to use, along with bunches of stone and shell chips. We'll see what happens. 

     Ok, prepare for the personal stuff. I've been doing pretty well lately. Feeling better about myself, and I'm hoping it lasts. Feeling a lot of things lately. Last night I kind of scared myself. I actually felt real, true empathy last night for the first time in God only knows how long. I don't mean the "I feel bad for you" sympathy stuff... I mean the full-blown empathy where you can feel your heart breaking in your chest because someone else is hurting. I was really blown away by it. I cried for at least an hour, and I felt ridiculous but... relieved as well. I thought I couldn't feel like that anymore. Weird. At least I'm still socially awkward. I think my brain might blow up if I ever get the hang of handling social situations. One change at a time. 

     Well, I still screw up every relationship I have. I'm pretty sure I have two of my friends upset with me in one way or another. Now I'm just kind of sitting here worrying about that. It's hard to focus on work when I'm wondering how badly I messed things up this time. I'm a walking social disaster. 

     I've rediscovered iTunes radio stations. I'm out of Pandora hours so it's serving as my replacement for my Pandora addiction until the new month starts tomorrow. I've found a lot of French radio stations (that play classic American music) on there, so I've been trying to listen to them and brush up on my French. It's really depressing that after five French classes (two in high school, three in college) I don't know the language any better than I do. Oh well. C'est la vie. 

     I'm out of things to say now. Off to find new ways to keep myself occupied. 

The Human Condition

"Man's nature is not essentially evil. Brute nature has been known to yield to the influence of love. You must never despair of human nature." ~ Mohandas Gandhi

     I'm oddly optimistic about the nature of humanity today, so at my site I'm revealing yet another collection of jewelry that I've titled "The Human Condition." This new collection contains several pieces focused on the beauty of patterns and polymer clay, as well as the moods, experiences, and traits evoked by the colors and forms. I have a particular fondness for most of these pieces since I shaped many of their components with my own two hands out of nothing but a few lumps of clay. I hope people enjoy viewing them and wearing them as much as I enjoyed making them.

     I'm really fond of Creativity, Growth, Joy, and Serenity. They were really a great deal of fun to make, especially since I used caning techniques to create the patterns on them, but I'm very pleased with the end results. I've gotten several compliments on Creativity, so I think I might make more necklaces in a similar style. I never make identical pieces, but it would be fun to play with those fan pieces in different patterns and colors.

     Isn't it pretty? My aunt already bought it from me, and my cousin Carly is thinking about requesting one in different colors. She's starting college this semester. So proud, but so hard to watch her grow up. I miss the little girl that used to jump into my arms when I walked in the door. Oh well. I'm sure my father says the same thing about me. 

     Anyway, that's all I have for now. I'm off to go be productive... maybe.

A Brief Update

     No snazzy quotes this time. Sadness. Just wanted to pop in and mention that I've been doing some work on my site. Added two more necklaces, some pictures, names, and prices. Still don't have the shopping cart up, but until I do, I'm allowing for e-mail orders. Don't know how that's going to work out, but we'll see. Anyway, that's all I've got for now. Might post more later.

The Wonderful World of Polymer Clay

"One never notices what has been done; one can only see what remains to be done." ~ Marie Curie

     I promise, this post is only partially personal. I'm actually going to try to talk about art again instead of rambling about myself forever and ever. But first, I want to share a little tidbit about my mentality. If you don't really care, feel free to skip this paragraph. You see, I was raised by two people who are "doers." My parents always have to have a goal, something to work on and keep them occupied. Me, I'm not a doer. I can be perfectly happy when I'm, as they put it, "wasting time." I like playing far more than I like working, and I believe that you need to have both in order to really live life. Now, that said, a non-doer being raised by two doers winds up with some problems. The biggest of these is guilt. I like to play and relax, but any time I do, I get a little parental voice in my head telling me that I'm wasting time and that I'm being lazy. Isn't that fun? And then when I actually accomplish something, my actual parental voices say something along the lines of "That's nice. Now what about all this other stuff you haven't done yet?" Also fun. So you see, Madame Curie's lovely little quote basically sums up my life. I have a very difficult time remembering what I've accomplished, and I never stop stressing over everything left on my to-do list.

     Now, how does all that apply to polymer clay? Essentially, I went on that little rant because I have a ton of polymer clay pieces lying around my room at the moment, pretty but unfinished or waiting to be added to a piece of jewelry. For those of you who don't know anything about polymer clay, polyclay is a non-mineral clay that can be bought in a variety of colors and textures, molded into any shape, and then baked in a typical home oven. In other words, it's kind of like cookable Play-Doh for adults. Polyclay can be used for a variety of things, but it's especially useful for making jewelry. I personally make pendants and beads out of polymer clay, and I currently have a whole bunch of these pendants and beads lying around, waiting to be used.

     Yay for crappy webcam shots. At least you can get the general idea. I have heart pendants, diamond drops, mokume-gane patterned shapes, random flowers, and a bunch of little round beads. And that's just the stuff that's already been baked. I also have a bunch of uncured canes lying around, and those are too fragile to move easily, so I can't just shove them in a box somewhere like these baked pieces. I'll go over my caning addiction some other time. But my point is, I have a whole bunch of unfinished stuff lying around here, and it's stressing me out. I'm currently rather exhausted (rough, stormy night last night), but that little parental voice in my head is frantically shouting, "Make something! Make something!" So, I guess I'll go obey it before my head explodes. Maybe I'll post the finished result later, and maybe it will even be shot with something better than my webcam. Miracles do happen.

I Need to Dangle Something Shiny

"It's good that people see it. It's even better when they love it. And it's wonderful if they buy it." ~ Bela Fidel

     Last night I had my heart broken yet again, so today I'm focusing on business instead of my feelings. Sounds like a good plan to me. So I've decided that I need to start drawing more people in to look at my silly little blog, and then my silly little website. I need a PR guy or something. But yeah, I guess the easiest way to do all that is to post images instead of just rambling on and on. Pretty pictures seem to get people's attention much faster. The problem is that my digital camera is missing the little cord that connects it to the computer. I have to go borrow a camera from someone every time I want a picture of something. So until I find my cord or buy a new one, I'm pretty much going to be posting old pictures and stuff. So I guess today I'll post a picture of one of my portraits so A) people know what I do besides jewelry, and B) maybe someone out there will have a suggestion for where I should go for inexpensive, quality prints.

     So this is a portrait I did for my "Visionary" series aka my senior show. It's called "The Beholder" and it's the first drawing out of nine in the set. I'm rather proud of it and used it as the image for my show cards that I had to distribute around the campus. I personally think it's the strongest thing I've drawn in quite some time, though I know people who disagree. For some reason, blindfolds seem to bother some people. Anyway, this drawing is 11x14 and done completely in woodless graphite, my preferred medium. The model is my lovely friend Amanda over at Balagan Art, and she seems to be fond of the photos that I took for references for this one, so you'll probably see this same look on her profile over at her blog. 

Let's Talk Art

"We are rapidly approaching the point where everything is art and, therefore, nothing is art." ~ Margo Buccini

     So today I was thinking (dangerous thing) and I realized that I've barely talked about art in what was intended to be an art blog. Then again, I've expressed my feelings and thoughts quite a bit here, and many people seem to believe that self-expression alone is enough to qualify as art, so perhaps I've not only talked about art, but created it as well. Ok, see, that's the kind of stuff that gives me a headache about art. I was sitting here thinking, "What should I talk about today?" I have plenty of ideas, sure. Working with polymer clay, pricing artwork, where I find inspiration, a cool tigerseye necklace I made yesterday... But just now, I've decided to talk about something that I rant about frequently to my friends and family, and that subject is the attitude of the art world.

     Now, keep in mind that I am by no means an art expert. But I'm pretty sure that no one in the world qualifies to be an art expert. Sure, you can be an expert at identifying which pieces come from which artist. You can be an expert in art history or art supplies or painting techniques. But "art" is a term that, I've come to believe, cannot be defined. Maybe someone will change my mind on that someday, but truly, how do you define art? Centuries ago it may have been a simple term, but the world of modern art has flipped everything upside down and left people scrambling to comprehend just what art is supposed to be.

     Let me take a moment to explain my background. I've wanted to be an artist since I learned how to pick up a pencil. I considered other career paths along the way, but I always came back to art. When I was just starting middle school, I took a private class in impressionism, where I learned that I was quite skilled at drawing in the daily sketchbook my teacher made me keep, but absolutely horrible at painting, which was the main focus of the class. In middle school and high school I excelled at drawing and it consumed much of my time. I started out with an anime and cartoonish style, then I gradually progressed to a blending of cartoon and realistic features. At this point in my life I was drawing nearly every day, but then I graduated and moved on to college. This marked a huge shift in my style, as I studied under the incredibly talented Marlin Adams. I had admired his work and even watched him give a portrait lesson twice in my high school career, but having him as a professor changed everything. With his guidance, I discovered that I had the incredible ability to create highly realistic, detailed portraits using nothing but simple graphite. Marlin taught me how to create beauty, and I became his star pupil because of my ability to render values unlike anyone else he was teaching at the time. I was by no means the most talented artist in the school, but I was the best at what I did. I almost immediately abandoned my previous cartoonish work, since none of it could even compare to the beauty of what I was suddenly able to achieve. But my newfound niche came with a lot of baggage. Not only did a drawing now take several hours to complete, but I struggled anytime that I had to draw anything that didn't have a two-dimensional reference for me to look at and grid out. Unfortunately, it's very hard to express all the ideas in my head in this format. Before, I had been able to just put something down on paper whenever I wanted. I can't do that anymore. When I moved on to my next college, they tried desperately to reverse all that I had learned. The art department at Berry College was a complete shift from the art department at Gordon College. While the two schools were equally skilled at imparting knowledge and teaching techniques, the way art was treated was completely and totally different.

     Now, I told you all of that so I can explain to you the heart of the argument that I've had with both myself and many others when it comes to art. At Gordon College, making art was about technique, skill, and beauty. Essentially, art was something that took a lot of time and made people ooh and ahh in awe at how beautiful it was. At Berry College, making art was about self-expression, answering questions, and pushing boundaries. In other words, art was something that forced its way out of you and made people tilt their heads and go "huh?" At Gordon I learned from Michelangelo. At Berry I learned from Rothko. Now, try to imagine, if you can, being praised for your obsession with detail, accuracy, and technique, then being thrown into a world where people want you to throw away all of that detail and accuracy and make something completely insane and new. It was maddening, frustrating, depressing, so on and so forth. I hated it. My Berry professors would ask me things like "It's a nice picture but... where are you in it?" or "Why did you do have to do it this way? Why not do it another way instead?" or "What questions did you resolve for yourself in this piece?" More than once, I was tempted to duct tape my professor's mouth shut and just shout, "This is the way I like to do it! It's pretty and it took me forever so you should just shut up and like it!"

     If at this point, you're waiting to hear some profound revelation of how I merged the two different methods and found some sort of peace in this little War of the Arts, I have to disappoint you. I didn't reconcile the two sides, I just picked one. I don't care about self-expression or breaking down walls, I just want to make beautiful things that people enjoy. And I do. Many people say this means that I'm not a real artist. That I'm a fraud and a sham. Others say that my art is the only kind of art that should be taken seriously. I disagree with both of those statements. Art can be many different things made in many different ways, and no one has to like all of it. I hate modern art. I hate Dada and Abstract Expressionism and Minimalism. I can't stand to look at the works, and I don't relate to anything in them. However, I still believe that they have value. They're still art and they still inspire thousands of people. They're just not for me. At all. Other people I know think that Neo-Classicism, Renaissance, and Baroque artists were nothing but copying machines who made pretty things that had no life to them, but those men and women are my heroes. What makes one art form or one way of thinking more legitimate than any other? If everyone shared the exact same opinion, art simply wouldn't exist at all. This doesn't mean that I condone this War of the Arts or think that it's good for the art community. Artists need to stop fighting over it and demeaning each other. Nothing makes one artist more legitimate than another. Art is what you want it to be, and it's also what other people want it to be. It's a contradiction. It's chaos and order, beauty and ugliness, subjective and objective, realistic and fantastical. It's everything and nothing. Just accept it and move on. Or at least don't tell me I'm not an artist. I don't really like that.

     Ok. I've ranted about art long enough. Back to actually making some. Maybe next time I'll talk about something more concrete and useful. Who knows?

Double Quote Day

"I like not only to be loved, but to be told I am loved; the realm of silence is large enough beyond the grave." ~ George Eliot

"The walls we build up around us to keep out the sadness also keep out the joy." ~ Jim Rohn

     I don't really know why I use all these quotes in my posts. I guess maybe it's nice to know that someone out there had the same thoughts I have. In any case, thought these two summed up my mood tonight. Do you ever have one of those situations where you want desperately to talk to someone but you're too proud to make the first move because... well... you always make the first move and you're tired of having to do all the work? You want someone to chase after you for once? Does that make any sense? I don't know. I don't understand the laws of socialization. I just play pretend and act like I know what I'm doing. Shh. Don't tell anyone.

     Managed to set a goal and accomplish it today. Set out to make three necklaces today, and not only finished those necklaces, but also made a bracelet. Yay for me. Though it's probably mostly because no one was around to talk to me and I didn't want to sit and think about anything. I really hate thinking. It's exhausting and just ruins my mood.

     I've suddenly rediscovered my fondness for Chicago. The band that is, not the place or the musical. Saw them in concert once with Earth, Wind, and Fire. Good stuff. It was an ex-boyfriend who first turned me on to Chicago, and I haven't stopped listening to them since then. That was... eight years ago? Maybe nine? Jeez. But anyway... my point is that I seem to listen to Chicago with increasing frequency whenever I'm feeling emotional. That hasn't happened in a long time. These emotion things are kind of foreign. Oh well. Still, really good music.

     In other music-related news... I miss ballroom dancing. I took two classes during college, and now I suddenly feel like a nice tango... or maybe a waltz... Whatever. Watching Hairspray last night didn't help. I envy John Travolta's ability to dance like a maniac in a fatsuit and heels. On that note, I'm going to stop writing now before I make someone's head explode. Good night, and good luck.

A Celebration of Strength

"It is said that there are only two real emotions one experiences in life. Fear and love. All others come from these two." ~ Jann Semkow

     I don't know if that quote is true or not, but it's something I've spent a lot of time thinking about. Recently, a friend and I both had to make a choice between those two emotions in our personal lives. As someone who has never been particularly skilled at handling emotions, it was a difficult decision for me to make, but in the end, I chose love over fear. Unfortunately for me, my friend chose fear. I don't really know which of us got the worse end of the deal. Sure, now I'm dealing with a lot of pain that I'm sure my friend has managed to avoid... but for once in my life, I don't feel like a coward. For years, all of the people closest to me have made a point of telling me how weak and fearful I am. I've had so much advice on how I'm supposed to feel and think, and frankly, it's sickening. It led me to a point where I felt only anger, depression, or nothing at all. I was so tired of people acting like my point of view wasn't valid, and then suddenly, someone comes along who not only makes me realize just how valid my feelings and thoughts are, but who also lets me just... feel. Being known, daring to let myself hope for anything, allowing myself to be the walking mess of contradictions that I am instead of shutting pieces of myself away... it was terrifying. I was tempted to let that fear overpower me. I was tempted to run away and retreat behind all of my defenses where I couldn't be disappointed or hurt. But I didn't. I chose to let myself feel loved. I had the strength to stay, to open myself up to new possibilities. Sure, I didn't get what I wanted. I'm hurt and I'm disappointed. But I know now that I'm not weak. I'm strong, I'm here, and I'm not running away.

     So... for those of you who skipped the rant about my personal life, let me fill you in on the business. Sold five necklaces to my wonderful family at my grandfather's birthday party. They were very supportive so it was a fairly nice day. Been making more jewelry, but not as much as I should be making. Trying to make myself do some drawing too, but it's so hard to get started on a portrait. Incredibly, paralyzingly hard. Went shopping for materials today. Spent way too much money, as usual. Hobby Lobby is evil. They like to suck me in with 50% off sales. I went in for one thing, came out with ten. C'est la vie. On the upside, I got accepted to Hatch Market. Woohoo! So now I need to stock up on lots of jewelry for it. Need to get my rear in gear and get some prints made too. For those of you in the Griffin, GA area, Hatch Market is now a part of Doctoberfest, and it'll be running all afternoon and evening on October 23. Good news for me since it means more people will be there now.

     Well, I'm off to go listen to tragic love songs and make jewelry. Maybe I can get rid of this giant headache too. Doubtful, but I'm daring to hope.

Taking Care of Business

"One of the big failings of art schools is that students aren't given any teaching on how to survive as a one-person business, which is what it is." ~ Stuart Pearson Wright

     Running the business side of art is a pain in the butt. Shipping fees, tax rates, shopping carts, websites, photos, measurements, pricing, legal hurdles... all while trying to make enough product to actually supply the business. And the best part is that I don't have a clue how to do any of it. Every time I need to do something, I have to spend several hours looking it up online, and there's NEVER a clear answer. People tend to think that I sit in my room all day and do nothing, but my brain is constantly at work trying to figure everything out. It's stressful and exhausting, and days like today make me think "What the hell am I doing here?" But then... I think about working for someone else. "Oh... yeah..."

     Oh well. That's life. It's rough and confusing and never cooperates with you, but there it is. So anyway, upgraded to a PayPal business account today, which didn't cost anything extra, surprisingly. Now once I figure out shipping and tax rates, I can put a shopping cart up on the site and it will no longer be a pretty little picture gallery. Must. make. money.

     Had to bump up all the prices on my necklaces, because as Amanda over at Balagan Art pointed out, I was accounting for supplies and my time but not for profit. So... apparently I'll have to be a bit more expensive than I'd like just to make any money from my jewelry. Oh well. At least I can sell my prints for a reasonably cheap price... once I figure out where I'm getting them made. Ugh. More thinking and deciding. Sooooo tired of it.

     I'm off to get some lunch. Maybe then I'll be less cranky and depressed.

Goddesses Abound

     Added more necklaces to the page of my Divinity collection today. Almost done naming all of the necklaces in that particular collection, though I'm sure I'll make more for that line in the future. Need to do more work on my little fairytale based line first though. We'll see how that goes. Anyway, that's all for now. Back to work I go.

Lazy Day

"What makes life dreary is the want of a motive." ~ George Eliot

     According to Eliot up there, my life is quite frequently dreary. Insert sigh here. Completely unmotivated and uninspired today. I'm bored as can be and can't think of a single thing I want to create. It's rather maddening. I did make a good steampunk necklace yesterday. That was satisfying. Of course, my mother thinks I'm crazy because she doesn't know what steampunk fashion is, and if you've never seen it before it can be a little confusing. So when I showed her my necklace with three or four different colored metals, she didn't really know what to say. I find my parents' reactions to my jewelry and drawings rather amusing. Sometimes all they can say is "That's interesting..."

     So since I have nothing I'm working on to write about, let me just share a random tip for people who are just getting started making jewelry. Always check out stores that carry jewelry, even if they don't carry jewelry-making supplies. Antique stores, fashion jewelry stores, department stores, yard sales, flea markets... whatever. Check them out from time to time. Not only can you get inspiration and a sense of what people are currently buying, but you can also find some really sweet deals on jewelry that you can later take apart and use for beads. For example, this weekend I went to a store called Serendipity in Griffin, GA. They sell all sorts of stuff from baby clothes to luggage to, of course, jewelry. But this store didn't just sell a few nice pieces of jewelry... oh no. They had two giant racks of cheap costume jewelry on every aisle... and every rack had (total guess here) at least 500 pieces of jewelry. Necklaces, bracelets, earrings... But that's not all. Each aisle was organized by color. So we're talking about approximately a thousand pieces of jewelry for each color. A thousand blue, a thousand purple, a thousand black, etc. How much does all this jewelry cost? Each piece on the rack costs $3. That's it. So I walked out of there with one bracelet and four necklaces for $16 after tax. Yesterday I cut them all up and now I have a bunch of beads that I desperately needed. While you can buy a little tube of tiny seed beads for about $2 or $3, I wound up with three times that much from just one multi-strand necklace I bought.

     There's my handy-dandy tip for the day. Just don't forget to make sure the jewelry you're cutting up isn't worth major bucks. That might make you cry.

Money, money, money... Part 2

"Exposure is what people die of when they get lost in the woods. Artists need to get paid." ~ Bob Ragland

     I'm feeling rather discouraged at the moment. Just finished pricing all of my jewelry and adding it up. Even if I sold every single piece I have in stock, I'd only have $850 left after accounting for all of my expenses. Rather depressing since I've been making jewelry since I've made 78 pieces this year. I'm really hoping it's because I'm just starting out. I mean, my site is paid for the entire year, so that's one big expense that I don't have to repeat until next summer. Same thing with my DBA, which I won't have to mess with for a while. And starting tools that I don't have to buy again. Yeah. That's what I'm telling myself at least. Hopefully it will make me feel better at some point tonight. Or maybe I'll have an appletini. Whatever.

     In other news, I made a rather odd necklace today. I've decided to make a steampunk collection, but this is new territory for me, so it's basically a bunch of experimenting... which I suppose is true steampunk style, right? For those of you unfamiliar with steampunk, it's a style of art, fashion, and fiction that combines the Victorian era with science-fiction. It's an ever-growing trend among those who are fascinated with technology, invention, and adventure as well as the mannerisms and customs of past societies. Style elements include a lot of metal (especially gold, copper, and gunmetal), cogs and gears, corsetry, goggles, buckles, cameos, boots, riding coats, and a ton of other stuff. But this piece turned out more neo-victorian than steampunk. I haven't decided if I like it or not. All I have is this crummy webcam shot, but there it is.

You can't really tell from the crap picture, but it's got yellow, green, peach, orange, white, and gold. It's slightly insane and took forever to make. Don't really know what's gotten into me.

     Here's a completely unrelated note: I'm fascinated by Billy the Exterminator. This guy is not only smarter than he looks, but his show can be rather addicting. I've been watching a marathon on A&E. That's all I'm going to say. Watch it. Unless you're terrified of snakes like my mother is. Or rats. Or roaches. Then don't watch it.